Monday, May 24, 2010
Stomping my feet...
Jason and I decided that if we were going to do this we needed to do it all the way. That meant the unthinkable. Cover the young children's ears. 15 passenger van. That's right I said it. A word I never wanted to come out of my mouth.
We listed our economically friendly Volvo in the paper. Two weeks and nothing. Yes! Maybe God was keeping it for a reason. Last day in the paper and someone calls and buys it the next day. Good bye sweet 7 passenger SUV.
I was excited deep down. I was excited to see where God was taking us. Until Saturday night when the week just came to a head and yes I blew up (it happens occasionally). I couldn't do it anymore. Five is a big number and Shaun has been struggling. I give so much to help him move forward and when he back slides it hurts and it's frustrating.
I drug myself to church, tuned everything out and felt sorry for myself. I got home and told Jason I was done and I didn't want to do foster care and definitely didn't want a 15 passenger van! Well being the wonderful husband he is, he had an appointment for a massage waiting for me. Great now I couldn't be mad at him anymore.
God began softening my heart as I had some time to think. I realized that just because I was done didn't mean God was done. In my weakness He was made strong. When God called Moses he said the same thing. I can't, I'm not the right person. Well look what God did there!
This morning by noon I had heard the song that is carrying us through this 3 times! I'm a big believer in music and I couldn't deny that God was talking to me.
"So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet." Hebrews 12:12
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