This weekend is going to be full of family time, BIG surprises for our kids, quiet time remembering the greatest gift of all and a little sadness.

There is a stocking hanging above our wood stove that will remain untouched. There is a place in all of our hearts that will be empty tomorrow morning. We will remember God's perfect timing and be covered in His peace and for that we will rejoice.

Jason has always made fun of me for having extra stockings. I always tell him just wait we are going to use them all someday. One is now filled with all kinds of boy things for Shaun. One has a shiny S for a little girl in Liberia and last but not least one says Titus and has onesies and blankets with tiny cars on them. We are waiting with great anticipation for a call saying we have been chosen by a birth mother. Our Christmas is about so much more this year. Our greatest gift won't be material, but the love that we have in our hearts for our two babies we haven't even met yet!!

Merry Christmas Sundayma and someday soon baby Titus!!

Adoption Breaks the Heart of God.

I listened to a message a while back about adoption. The woman opened with the line "adoption breaks the heart of God." I was kind of taken back. Why would adoption break God's heart? He adopted us. Giving homes to orphans, isn't that what he told us to do? I didn't get it. I'm really not sure I heard anything else she said.

I understand now. There is a song by Lincoln Brewster that says "surely children weren't made for the street and fathers were not meant to leave. Surely this isn't how it should be". That's it. This is not how it's supposed to be. Adoption breaks the heart of God, because adoption is the result of our sinful nature. Some foolish, some intentional, some violent and hideous.

The world of adoption is a whole new place. You can't truly understand it until you are fully immersed in it. I don't say that self righteously. I've been outside this world and judged, stared and pointed fingers. Now I live in that world. There are so many facets to this world. There are healthy, happy babies, there are terrified toddlers, angry kids, abused kids. They all have different stories. Different hurt at different times.

I see the fear in the eyes of my sweet little boy. I don't think he even knows why he's afraid. Deep in his soul he's terrified though. He's been abandoned before. I believe God is healing his little heart every day. It breaks God's heart that he is afraid, that it took him a year to trust us. It breaks God heart that his mother must look at his pictures and feel so lost without him.

It breaks God's heart that my daughter in Africa has never known the love of a mother and father. Her life has no value to so many people. I pray everyday that she knows she is loved by her heavenly father, valued as a princess in his eternal kingdom. That her heart will be filled by Him.

So, yes adoption breaks the heart of God. I believe our family is being obedient doing a miniscule thing in this huge world of sin. He is mending broken hearts through us. He has allowed four crazy girls to love Shaun unconditionally, he has allowed Madalyn to slowly build a sisterhood with Sundayma. But the circumstances of how they became a part of our family break his heart. I hope that in our blind faith we will Glorify His name!