It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you might live as you wish- Mother Teresa

I took Lia to Dallas last weekend to see her friend who is going through chemotherapy. It was a great experience for Lia. It was hard for her to see her friend and the reality in which she now lives. But in a few short days she learned how to flush a line, change a bandage, cheer her friend on while she swallows pills, but most importantly how to love unconditionally. And when God asks us to do something it might be hard, frustrating and confusing, but you can't just walk away.

While I was there it was our girls 10th birthday in Africa. Jason and Sami got to talk to her for the first, so while I hoped this would be a joyful day for her, it wasn't. Some things came out about her past that were so hard to swallow. The kind of things that are incomprehensible. My first reaction was anger. I'm still angry. Angry that my little girl has already had to go through so many hardships, angry that someone would dare to lay a hand on her, angry that I can't hold her and tell her she's going to be ok.

The question was asked if we were going to change our minds. If this was going to be too much. I immediately said no, she's our child, thick and thin. Then the reality of it hit me and it made me a little nervous. I read the blog of another family talking about the reality of this world. We live in this "perfect" world, where we have a place to sleep, food on our tables, and most of us are safe. We don't want to think about orphans. We don't want to really understand. But I know now. I understand and I can't walk away. If I did I would be choosing disobedience. If I did I would be choosing to live as I wish and leaving a child to a world where Satan is fighting so hard to destroy her life.

I can't explain how I fell in love with this little girl I really don't know. I can't explain how I know she's ours. I can't explain how I know she will come home someday. God is at work, he will heal her, he will bring her home.

The voice of a little girl.

Madalyn is going to have to get a job to pay for her international phone calls! She asks me everyday if she can call her new sister. The first time she called the she had a hard time understanding so she handed me the phone. I said hello and heard the sweetest little voice. I didn't expect her to sound so young since she's almost 11. She is sweet, probably a little shy, and is becoming more comfortable the more we talk to her. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and it will be the first one she's celebrated in a long time maybe ever. I can't wait to hear her when we sing Happy Birthday to her! Such a range of emotion knowing she's knows she belongs, she knows when her birthday is, but knowing it may not be the last one she spends away from her new family.