Crying it out...not for me!

I have never had a baby who doesn't sleep until now. Amaya likes to go to bed at 8 and wake up around 11, right when I lay my head on my pillow. Oh, and she doesn't sleep in her bed. I attempted to get her to sleep in her crib last night. She slept a few hours woke up, I rocked her pat her back, let her cry. Then I realized something, this is stupid.

Jason and I never sleep when the other one is gone. Lia and Sam sleep together every night. Hailey either sleeps with Madalyn or Shaun or comes in our bed. Have you noticed a pattern here? Why would I try to make my baby sleep in a huge crib all alone? No one likes being alone! We are humans. We crave love and physical touch.

What's with the self soothing? Because children and adults need to go to their rooms and pull themselves togther when they are upset? NO! We go to other people to comfort us! If it works for you great. There is no way I am going to walk out the door with my baby reaching for me and crying her heart out. Am I teaching her to be manipulative, maybe. I'm also teaching her that she doesn't have to be alone and we will always be there for her when she needs us and to buy a king size bed if she's going to have kids!

Turns out I'm a failure...

Ok, not really a failure. You know the saying shoot for the moon if you miss at least you land among the stars. Well it's true. I shot for the moon. It was an amazing journey filled with wonderful memories. We have truly landed among the stars. I live with 7 of them!

Two years ago I pulled Lia out of school for personal reasons. It was the best thing for her. I had no intentions of it lasting long or adding any students! We had a great year together. Well Christmas break rolled around and we enrolled one more. Madalyn, who is wise beyond her years told me "I can't learn in this place", (referring to the middle school). Oh boy. I actually don't know how to do 6th grade math.

Our new year started off great. I had two eager students and one who was happy at school. No problem, we can do this. Spring rolled around and Samantha had a dose of reality. She watched before a room full of concerned parents as her beloved principal lost her job. There was no explantation. Completely unfair, she said she was done.

Then came Amaya. I am so grateful for the time we have had as a family. No rushing out the door in the morning, staying up late to do homework, or volunteering! Every morning there is a fight for Amaya. They each get to spend time bonding with this amazing blessing of a baby sister! I wouldn't trade the last 7 months for anything.

My sister said to me yesterday, "Why didn't you ever say anything about reaching your breaking point?". I told her I wasn't there yet. When you have 6 kids you learn when enough is enough. When it's time to step back and say "WHOA! EVERYONE FREEZE!". This doesn't mean we've reached a breaking point, it means we've learned to avoid them!

Having a teething, non-sleeping 7 month old who loves you so much they can't stand to be away from you is exhuasting! And the best thing ever because no one will ever adore you like your baby! Little by little "school" became more and more frustrating. Jason is going to school, running a business, teaching classes and being an amazing dad. It was time to freeze and look at our situation and prioritize.

My family is always my number 1 priority. That means figuring out what's best for 8 peoople! Monday morning Madalyn, Samantha, and Lia will put on their khaki pants and polo shirts and head out the door at the ungodly hour of 7:30! There are going to be some adjustments like getting dressed, waking up, homework! They are really excited though. I am very grateful that they will be together in one tiny building where they will see each other everyday!

It's Hailey, Shaun and Amaya time! I am very excited to be able to spend some extra time with these 3. Not that Amaya and I ever spend any time apart! So, that's the scoop.

I am not a judgmental person. To each their own. I love that as our family changes our lives can adapt to that. We will homeschool again, very likely. Will my kids go to public school again, very likely. Will they thank me someday for giving them options and moving them around to best suit their needs? I sure hope so!

Random thoughts... Some deep... Some not.

We have had a wonderful trip. Denver with Uncle Sean and Aunt Korynn, the amazing city of New Orleans, a visit with Aunt Beth, Disney World, the beach with Abi, Legoland with Grammy and Poppa, finally seeing where Jason's brother and family live, and Nashville with good friends in 12 days! I'm tired, but have loved every moment. School has been scarce, but my kids have had plenty of education on this trip. Swamps, historical buildings, war heroes, learning to use maps, the list goes on and on! I am so grateful God has provide our family these opportunities I love to travel!

Things I've learned, observed and thought about...

*apparently it's ok to push small children and women carrying babies at Disney World.

* Never go to Florida in the winter without hats, gloves and down jackets.

* people are who they are, accept them and love them.

*Krispie Kreme is nasty, really nasty.

*Towels will never dry outside in Florida

* I can't wait to go back to New Orleans, I love that place!

*Laughing at angry, almost teenagers is a BAD idea.

On a more serious note. I observed a lot of retirees in Florida, nice cars, big RV's, tan skin. All things I'd love to have some day. There has definitely been talk of early retirement in our house. We started out early, we ought to end early right? To each their own of course, but I'm not willing to just waste my time for 20 years. I wonder how many of us have 5, 10, 15 year plans. A plan to acquire money, things and time. Do any of our plans include giving, helping, serving or changing lives.

Changing lives? Do you know smiling at someone can change their LIVES? Buying someone coffee, taking the time to really care how they are doing, spending $30 a month to feed and educate a child, being a mentor, volunteering. Obviously my passion is adoption and loving kids. I know it may not be your passion. I challenge you to find your passion. Big or small, put changing a life in your plan.